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Funny Unix Commands - Part i.

% make fire

Make: Don't know how to make fire. Stop.

% why not?

No match.

% gotta light?

No match.

% !1984

1984: Event not found. # (on some systems)

% How's my lovemaking?

Unmatched '.

% "How would you rate Bush's incompetence?

Unmatched ".

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?

Missing ].

% [Where is my brain?

Missing ].

% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?

Modifier failed.

% ^How did the sex change operation go?

Bad substitute.

% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?

Too many ('s. % man: why did you get a divorce?

man:: Too many arguments.

% %blow %blow: No such job.

% \(-

(-: Command not found.

% sh

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense

no sense in pretending!

$ mkdir matter; cat >matter

matter: cannot create

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